P.S. Jacob Alton Burbridge -- http://jacob.burbridge.googlepages.com

So, I've been seriously thinking (and praying) about the whole prayer thing off and on for about 5 years (as opposed to prior trivial attention)-- since I was a sophomore at St. John's. I, for one, wasn't raised in an Evangelical church (nor in any church). We didn't do "daily quiet times" and we didn't listen to Christian music. I did have an LP of Michael Jackson's Thriller and a single of Beat It as well as an array of Sesame Street recordings and such. We did go to church(es). The Good News was good news to us.

Early on, I was plagued by great anguish and remose for the people in certain situations (the specifics are neither here nor there right now). Whenever I heard about someone suffering due to ____________ it brought me a terrible sense of woe, sympathy, anger, or some combination of those (and other) emotions. Sometimes I prayed for them, sometimes I didn't think of it. I will say that the anguish of it sometimes was so profoud as to resemble even existential angst (whug... disconnect this statement from pop sentiments and read it at face value -- a la Pascal).
Around sophomore year at St. John's I started asking the question, "What good is prayer?" More specifically, I formulated it into this epigrammatic couplet:

Let's look at it in a particular: Let's say I become aware that someone is suffering from an emotional upheaval after a divorce. Let's further assume that I want the person to have relief from the stress (either externally, internally, or both). If it is a good thing for God to ease her pain, why does it matter if I pray for her? Will she not be comforted by Him whether I do or not, since it is good? If it is not good, ought I not to pray for it (for the obvious reasons)?
One result: My prayer doesn't matter. Regarding a given matter, I should either specifically not pray about it (if it is Not Good) or else my prayer is irrelevant (if it is Good).

I'll point out for the sake of complete disclosure (lest any get caught in this snare) that I have some underlying assumptions in this scenario that are important:

God always does what is Good.
God  only  does what is Good.

Obviously, the safe bet is just never to pray. Then you won't be praying for the Bad thing ever, and the Good things will always happen. Hopefully you are as uncomfortable with this conclusion as I was. First and foremost, Jesus instructed us to pray. Not only to pray, but to pray for stuff. Big, Famous Example: "Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven. ..." Almost all of that prayer is petition (some parts are proclaimation). It's not all "pious" prayer either: "Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done" certainly is, but "Give us this day our daily bread" isn't particularly (ok, so it's "us" ... a group prayer) nor are the "forgive us" and "lead us" (etc.) portions. Of course, that's just prayer for me.

But Paul goes on for a bit about praying for those in positions of authority, and other people write that blah blah etc. (I'm sure you can find all the fun examples you want all over the bible and the web, and lots of fun counter-examples, and counter-counter-examples, if you are particularly inclined to be either well-versed or contentious).

So I started asking people about it. The most common answer I got was that God wants us to pray so that we become better people. More specifically (when pressed) it was that "God wants us to pray so that we become better people and He will do all Good things (and only them) regardless of whether we pray or not, so we might as well get in on the free blessings of participating in what he's doing."

This is a false position. God wishes that in our prayers we have mercy upon others, and that we represent our desires to Him. He acts on our expressed desires. He grows us in His time and matures our desires, and inclines our hearts ever more towards the welfare of others. Children need to be children for a time, before they are men and women.

There were two or three comments in some of the previous posts that I'd like to comment on (in chronological order):

From Nate

There was also advice for what to do if one was trying one's best and still not "feeling the presence of God". Start listening to those impulses, those inner thoughts--learn to pay attention to how God may be leading you.

Well: I think it's bull.

It isn't false, but it is a somewhat poor articulation of something true. It also has lots of abuses, in part (but just part) because of its poor articulation. Be wary, though -- you are throwing out the baby with the bathwater.

Pray about something enough and you get to call whatever you decide "the direction of God". If it doesn't turn out, you can always say you were wrong--it's only God when it's right, after all.

Again, when this happens it is an abuse of something good. This phenomenon is the result of too much zeal with too little discernment (which is a gift from God). It is folly at best and sin at worst. Nonetheless, an idea ought never to be judged by its abuses -- this is a terrible folly too.

I believe abstractly in the merit of prayer,

Abstractly, what do you believe is the merit of prayer? Is that belief so abstract as to be abstract and not practical? If so, then it is not even an abstract belief -- it is merely an accepted proposition.

but I almost never find that the prayer my fellow Christians talk about to be even potentially legitimate.

Ack! By what criteria is a prayer found to be legitimate? By what authority do you do so? (Sincere questions ... not intended to convey an accusing tone). Tread lightly! You seem to me to stand on shaky ground. I'm saying this as a caution from one who loves you. Perhaps this stand would be better taken regarding the prayers of your fellow Christians: "Jesus, I'm so wretched that I do not even understand the prayers of my brothers. Please help me!" as you consider others better than yourself. The only prayers of such sort that seems as though they might be my business are prayers against God (that is, prayers for evil) or prayers to some other god. If either of these is coming from my brother then I'm obliged to help him in particulars because he's apparently in terrible shape (either dead or deathly ill).

Instead, I find constant evidence that the institution of prayer (and, Lord, we won't even touch miracles) is primarily a vehicle for superstition. Even at its best, the language of the church tends to be imprecise and amorphous, ...

P.S. This post is deliberately more provocative than precise--at this point I'd rather interest someone enough to reply than be particularly accurate on any one of these issues I've so brazenly bandied about. I hope my dear readers will understand this and accord me corresponding charity.

You are complaining about something you are attributing largely to imprecise rhetoric ... and using imprecise rhetoric to do so. Is this wise?

From Rhonda

There is something more objective about learning prayer from the outside, rather than the inside – and when we have such teachers as Christ, Scripture, and the Church, then we will be guarded against subjectivity, emotionalism, relativism, superstition

True dat. (Double true.) I enjoy writing out my prayers (I do it somewhat sporadically right now, but I'm trying to increase my discipline. Sometimes it's just a freeflow organica, sometimes it's more studied. I like to take a central theme from some trusted prayer (from the Bible or some famous person (I like John Donne) and write variations on a theme. I pray them as I sculpt them. Sometimes afterwards too. I heart words.

From Matt

I find myself dividing everying into two categories: Son-oriented and Father-oriented, and I think that as long as Birthday-Wish prayers are Father-oriented (i.e. acknowledging that all good gifts come from God and giving thanks to Him) they are good.

I would point out that there's a third party ;) But, among the three, there's a general "funnelling" upwards. For an individual believer, this makes for a "trek to maturity" in one's prayer life, I think:

Spirit => Son => Father

Sometimes this path can be taken again and again from any number of starting points, inducing maturity in a wide variety of areas.